Getting into a deep, close relationship with someone – whether a friend or a romantic partner – is a leap of faith. This level of relationship means trusting, loving, being loved, and allowing your authentic self to be seen and heard. There is risk. What if one of you doesn’t like what they see or hear? What if one of you feels there is something missing in the connection? What if one of you isn’t getting their needs met?
The Tao says nothing is permanent. Everything evolves, and this applies to relationships. And if the evolution reveals that something is not serving you in the relationship, then to continue to honor your authentic self, you need to consider leaving. Our tendency is to stay. It is easy to get “stuck” and resist changing – because we have developed habits, because we are often comfortable in our environment, because we don’t want to hurt the other person, because we are not confident that the change will be better.
Leaving is also a leap of faith. These are difficult. We want to be “sure”. We want to feel we did the best we could, we tried. So we tend to overthink, overanalyze, and reason with ourselves. The head takes over the decision and keeps us stuck. The head can talk you into anything. In these times it is important to listen to your body – it is wiser when it comes to making decisions. It channels your spirit. It lets you know when something is right (that warm feeling that courses through your blood) or wrong (sickness or pain that won’t release). We often make decisions based on our ‘gut instinct’ – that is our intuition at work. Or we follow our heart – that is our source of love.
If you followed your head you would have found numerous reasons to avoid the relationship in the first place (likely based on past experiences). The body is what gave you the courage to make the leap. And it needs to be trusted when it tells you to leap out. The head has its role in helping to move you forward in your evolution, but it can hold you back from being the best and most joyful you can be in this life if it keeps you stuck in something that doesn’t serve the authentic you. So listen to your body when faced with the leap.